My moring drive

For years I was on a too-early nursing shift, being already on the job before the sun came up.
Saw some nice sunrises out the hospital window, but after too many years of this, I transferred to a nursing job that started at 8:30am.

In my pre-nursing years of office work, one thing I disliked was getting behind a school bus, 15 mile an hour school zones, and worse yet, being in front of a school where you had to wait for an entire bus to disembark.

When I first came back to the world of the post dawn work force, my experience with school buses was enjoyed. It was great to start later. Sharing the world with darling little school children off to start their day, I connected with that anticipation and innocence. I'd see a girl and think- She has the whole big world ahead of here. Then I would think, Hey, so do I!

Nevertheless, that 15 mile an hour school zone sometimes caught me by surprise. Always leaving a bit later than I should, one day, lost in thought drove into one of my usual school zones a bit faster- maybe 25 instead of 15 miles per hour. To my surprise the school crossing guard jumped off the curb into the side of the street, and with a snarling face, shook her fist at me!
She looked like an old Rosie the plumber, but not as pleasant and quite formidable.
Yikes! slowing down I wondered how was I going to pass that old battle ax every day after she punished my infraction?

Since traveling another route did not seem like a good option, I kept to the same route, ever aware of a possible severe reprimand if I did not watch out. Every day was an opportunity to think a judgmental thought. Thoughts how my work was too hard, and with not enough sleep and too much overtime- no wonder it was hard to stay to that 15 mile an hour posting.
There weren't even any children nearby the day she jumped out at me. It was easy to excuse myself and blame the crossing guard.

Then it happened. One day on the way to work my heart melted. There was the
woman of my fears taking pictures of the little ones on their first day of school.

How they were beaming. How thoughtful of her to do this! How long would they keep the photos? I want to add that many of the children came from a city housing project, and did not have beaming parents to send them off. She knew that and was their protector and took pride in them.

From that point on, the crossing guard became my ally instead of my adversary. Maybe she still thought- here comes the lady who is a jerk and drove too fast on my beat. Regardless - I decided to give her a friendly wave when I passed by. Eventually, she waved back.

That is when I started to bless her and her corner and all the children, and what the heck the whole darn school every day when I passed it. When I did I felt a sense of grace flow into me.
Maybe it was a reward for changing my attitude from judgment to empathy, but for sure it keeps me healthy and better able to take care of my patients every day.

One day school was out for the summer. I missed seeing the children and guards and blessed them anyway. Maybe I was sending that prayer back in time and space to the moment this occurred. Maybe the extra positive charge on the corner could set up a lucky rabbit's foot like blessing all year.

Now remember, this crossing guard was not young. Eventually she must have retired, because there have been two school crossing guards since her. I bless them too. ....and my friend Rosie the plumber where ever she is. I'd like to thank her someday. Maybe I already have.

Will the happy nurse be there?

For the most part this blog will follow me in the next year preparing to retire.
Some of you may be thinking, well that is good for her, but I am a long way off.
How do I get by now, when I don't know if I can take it any more?

Here is something I wrote to myself about 10 years ago.
I still think of it often, and hope it will help you too:

...When my daughter was little, many years ago, there was a nurse
in my family practice office that I will always remember.
Heavy set, middle aged, rather plain but always pleasant and smiling with my sick child.

After a while when I had to take my daughter to the doctor she would say -
"Is the happy nurse going to be there?"

Well, maybe she has a pleasant stress free life,
I thought. She must have it better than me.

Well, to my surprise I found out she didn't. The "happy nurse"
herself was undergoing cancer treatment. The "happy nurse"
endured a buy off of her clinic from a small business to a large
for profit HMO and hospital group. You know what? She must
have survived the cancer because she turned up a year ago in a branch
office, just as smiling, helpful and cheerful as ever.

Sometimes when I drive to work, I think about her. She may not
get a 5 star evaluation. She may not have perfect heath, or even a good figure.
She may not have a romance or stable employment.
But she does bring light, joy, humor and hope to all she touches.
And isn't that what healing is all about?

My favorite movie is "Patch Adams".
(Now available to rent on DVD or VCR.)
It was about a doctor who chose to infuse humor in his work life...

Patch says it is not hard to offer others humor.
You did not need to be a comic or don a clown outfit.
His definition is:
"Humor is a smile on your face
a twinkle in your eye
and a willingness to greet."

Doing life in a state of grace communicates wordlessly and perfectly.
Truth is simple, and peace is fun, joy is contagious.

So don't hold back your unique wonder and innocence.
Remember the advice of Henry David Thoreau:
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
however measured or far away."

I recently had a psychic impression given to me that I would not be retiring as soon as I had planned.
It is likely because creatively fulfilling work after leaving, it does not seem like retirement to her.

Start of Blog Welcome!

This is a journal of how I am making a transition from full time work to an early retirement.

My last full time paycheck will be early March of 2011 where my 25 year career at the same
place will be ended by an early voluntary retirement. (Through the magic of unused vacation time owed, my
actual last day in Dec 30th,k 2010, but my last full time pay is March 4, 2011.)

For the past 25 +years I have worked as a nurse, but had other jobs in many types of office work and sales before joining the nursing world.

I do believe that once a nurse always a nurse, but this blog is to help those who look forward to a new life after retirement.

Many of you, like me, have seen countless coworkers vanish into the world of retirement. You say "keep in touch" but few ever do. What the heck happens to them? Were they happy they did it? What joys or "if only's" occur in the first year? I promise to stay with you to fill you in on
the rest of the story.  Many will keep in touch by facebook, but sharing in a blog is deeper.

According to actuary tables, people who retire early and get interested in their life's passion - even a second career - live longer than those who stay chained to a job they have grown weary of. I think you know the ones who retire at 65 only to live a few years after that. This is why, although having an income at the top of our pay scale, it may be more lucrative in the log run to start over early.

For now, parting words for all of you who say- why leave your job when you are bound to make less than you do now, if you have to start over:
"If you love what you do, you will never work another day in your life."
--Confucius